19 May 2012 17:55:34
fed up of blokes using facebook to hit on my mrs
mark d {Ed007's Note - Sorry mate. She don't me she was single.}
Im sure alot of blokes think its a dating site
mark d {Ed007's Note - It's not something I am really into TBH. (FB not dating) oh wait I'm married as well ermmmm.......}
17 May 2012 19:41:48
Police in yorkshire are reporting the new craze ,kids injecting ectasy into their teeth...theyre calling it ..
E by gum..
smf
16 May 2012 21:12:14
I hate Steak and Kidledy pie...sm
15 May 2012 21:17:49
You know what really rattles my knackers, people who fooking run out in front of your car draggin their kids behind them, then when you nearly run em over they stand there givin you the "v" sign when the fooking crossing is only a couple of yards away, oh yeah & another thing, people who let their dogs off the leash when people are cycling & think its funny when the dog is chasin ya down the road (basterds), I got 18 stitches in my leg & one hell of a tetanus needle in my ass coz some delinquent thinks its funny to see his dog chase people on bikes & when reported police stated " no evidence who the k***head was, cant do a thing, just extra patrols put out"
Gutted cyclist
I took a bird home....after loads of petting she said,you cant touch me ive just come on my cycle....
thats why i hate cyclists.....sm
How do you think i feel people throwin maggots at me,lockin me in a freezer,then gettin battered round the back of the chippy......
Gutted fish
14 May 2012 12:49:45
Went back to some birds last week...thought we 'd watch a movie as she told me she had 3D...i've just got back from the STD clinic...I thought her tele wasnt that good...gotta get this hearing aid seen to...sm
Brilliant
07 May 2012 17:49:12
Just watched a pringles ad...it said once you pop you cant stop....so how come they have a re-sealable lid...smf
06 May 2012 16:01:36
i was sitting at home eating my tea last night when i thought to myself "jesus this milk is seriously out of date"
I know I hate milk and chips for tea..
23 Apr 2012 21:46:00
without looking whos the oldest berty basset or shirley bassie...
Wow....... Thats gotta be the strangest question I ever heard....
HERBIE
23 Apr 2012 11:40:32
How about them crab apples, how annoying are they? The make me crabby! (No pun intended). How about them cheese twisters, how annoying are they? They get my knickers in a twist! (No pun intended). How ab
.....FAIL
21 Apr 2012 20:56:36
can you imagine my despair when after a spelling mistake in my local paper,i had kept my cancerous father under the stairs for three weeks..only to realise that there was a hosepipe ban and not a hospice ban....doh. smf
21 Apr 2012 20:23:08
Just joined an operatic ballet troop but had to pack it in...they made a bloody song and dance out of everthing..smf
19 Apr 2012 18:08:15
Is anyone else getting p155ed 0ff that we can't ship out this bloke Abu Quatada!
Seriously...are we the only country in the world who has to do everything by the book, why do we always have to show the world that we are so prim and proper!
GET RID!
dmedly
I hate the guy but he scored me with a 63 on scrabble crossing the treble square...so he aint all bad..
30 Mar 2012 23:24:23
Government Announcement
After a meeting today (which involved lashings of subsidised ale and pasties) we would advise people not to use jerry cans anymore but to use carrier bags or pockets for the storage of fuel Mr. Cameron was going to announce this but was last seen running out of the back door,...I know I thought it was weird aswell.
Mr.E Pickles
Dear mr pickles did you find the world cup..
30 Mar 2012 15:10:32
alright everybody this is pure crap the suns out i wish it would start raining as i hate the sun that is why a wouldn't go to another country i just cant handle the heat
You should move to Ireland!
dmedly
Move to merseyside...everyone hates the sun there..
27 Mar 2012 15:55:55
Could everyone please stop panic buying fuel,most of you will still have half a tank full after the strike for crying out loud!
Thank you.
Mr.Roller Coaster
Right,I mean it this time,STOP! They are not even on strike.
Oh,and it's also doing my head in watching pathetic sheep acting like greedy .......!
Cheers
Mr.Roller Coaster {Ed001's Note - you are just upset that you can't fill up your jerry cans!!}
The garage round my way are limiting panic buyers to 2 pasties per customer
Canyousaybanana!!
My mate from Oxfordshire said I could borrow a police horse if I run out of fuel...lovely fellow.
Sir Chipping Norton-Set
Dont panic guys but I have just seen loads of people at my local garage,they have run out of fuel but rumour has it they got a new delivery of stamps!
Postman Pat
25 Mar 2012 19:09:33
Now women everywhere can shut up about how painful it is to give birth.
A kick in the balls is above 9000 del (units) of pain which is similar to giving birth to 160 kids & breaking up to 3200 bones at a time.
Canyousaybanana!!
What about standing on a plug?? Argh
I gave birth the other day, had'nt been for a week, jesus it was painful .....unlucky alf
Aye and ye hear women sayin they want another baby, never seen a bloke wantin another boot in the sack
mcdab
Most painful thing in existence is stepping on lego in the dark.
Paso
Another one is trapping your john thomas in your zip...excruciating...never do it much nowadays as we can now afford underpants and i wear 501s just incase..
The question is though. On the grounds that women take the pain to get something good at the end. Would you take a kick in the balls if it was followed up with the most amazing blow job you'd ever had?
22 Mar 2012 17:11:15
While I do agree that fuel in this country is much too expensive I always wonder why everyone makes such a song and dance about it every day while hardly mentioning the cost of beer!
1 gallon of fuel costs approx £6.50
1 gallon of beer costs approx £23.00
Beer is 97% water
Sometimes I wonder about our priorities these days!
Chris in Tamworth
Not everyone is a drinker though Chris and 99.9% of people need fuel to get to work i dont need alcohol to get to work to feed my kid so im only bothered about the ridiculous fuel costs the Government are raping us and all we can do is bend over and take it
MJ
Chris I am sorry but 1 gallon of beer does not cost £23 unless you buy from a retailer in bottles or pints. Average price of a 11 gallon keg is around £80 so that works out at just over £7 a gallon. Yeah it is still more than your stated fuel price but not by the percentage portrayed by you.
To clarify I have worked in the hospitality trade for over 10 years.
Paso
Paso, it does cost that much if you buy it by the pint which is how the vast majority of drinkers buy it
Petrol costs less as well if you buy it by the tanker load but nobody does that either
Chris in Tamworth
I understand what you are saying but if we use the most common place of alcohol purchase in the country which is the local supermarket - you get a 10 pack of 440ml (4.4L) cans of lager for about £10. 1 gallon(uk) is about 4.5L so for £10 you get almost a gallon of Beer in a supermarket.
Still a little more expensive but still not as bad as you make out.
If you were to buy a gallon of beer from a bar in pints it works out in brighton, my home town, at roughly £28.
I do still wonder about our priorities.
Paso
21 Mar 2012 18:47:25
.Scottish people.
This is not about all scottish people just a few who i met in Lanzarotte (spelling) a while back. Something happened and i really need help so i ran to this couple and asked if they spoke English and the woman of the group shouted rather aggressively "NO WE SPEAK SCOTTISH" and i was rather shocked as it was obvious she didnt like the English at all. So i replied "Strange that sounded remarkably like English guess your country must of learnt the language when we were raping and pilaging your country", Now i know my reply was harsh but they obviously had a major chip on their shoulder and there was no need to shout at me for asking a question when i was searching for help in a stressull situation.. Bad Things that happened 100's of years in the past should surely be forgotten about it wasnt my fault England was on a mission to dominate the world back in the day
MJ
Totally agreed MJ, honestly hers was a stupid reply.
21 Mar 2012 14:32:38
These fabrese car airfresheners that are advertised on the telly,has anyone seen them in a shop? I cant find them anywhere.
Cheers.
Mr.Roller Coaster
Yes mate. I have one in my mg. Wilkinsons, ask them if you can't find them.
Matty b {Ed001's Note - Mr Roller Coaster doesn't normally go in any shops other than Poundland, he finds the price in there a bit steep too!}
Amazon !!
matty b
19 Mar 2012 16:35:14
ed, could we have a food and drink talk it would be good to get recipe's and ideas off other people.
Sounds like an idea....
06 Mar 2012 18:31:00
Ed with Britain having to spend 65% more on petrol than the rest of Europe and the Government have just increased it by 1p (which is disgracefull) what can We do to make them lower the price so we pay what everyone else does because i personally want to set Cameron on fire he is an person he wanted to stop child benefit to anyone who earns less than 40k a year why would anyone who earns that amount of money need benefits he is only for the rich and spits on the poor...What can we do to fix these problems?
MJ {Ed001's Note - stop using it is the only thing.}
Smoke more cigarettes, drink more beer and earn more money...then they might not have to increase the fuel duty!
I thought they were cutting the child benefit for people who earned "more" than £40k a year?
dmedly
They wanted to cut it on the average family mate and only give it to the 40k plus earners but they had a change of heart last minute...Guess someone kicked up a fuss but conservative have always been for the money people
MJ
MJ,where are you getting this 65% figure from? I know it is expensive,but 65% seems a lot !
Mr.Roller Coaster
Mr.Roller Coaster It was on some program mate cant remember name of it Britain always pays more for goods and services due to our government screwing us over with their tax crap also petrol only costs 2p per litre in Iraq
MJ
Should end child benefit all together.
Some families need child benefit to survive you moron...How about stop asylum seekers coming in and ravaging the benefit system. Asylum seekers cost us over £3Billion a year and its growing...That was a stupid thing to say your obviously Thick as Sh!t
MJ
29 Feb 2012 22:02:31
Am well choked off by the following so i will be breif,
Potholes; they damage the car and we pay for the bloody roads, and pay tax to repair the damage, mugged again
Speed bumps, yep i get the need to calm traffic but we don't need them so close together, one street by me has speed bumps with pot holes, nice!!
Flashing yellow lights on tractors, One time you only found these on emergency vehicles, now any tit who wants to hold every tax paying motorist up usually in a tractor, un roadworthy and on red diesel, has these lights to wind us up even more.
Bloody advert telling us about loose poo and cancer, jesus christ we are adults, use the correct terms, I doubt if they said loose stools can be a sign of cancer we would all be out with screwdrivers tightening the chair legs. Welcome to dumb Britain
Bankers and MP's Nuff said
Bloody cats on my car roof
Help, I am sick of this bloody country, going to hell in a handcart
Dont forget the fact we are paying 65% more for our petrol than the rest of europe
MJ
27 Feb 2012 23:43:16
we buy any car.com.frigging robbing gets,went online out of interest,my car daiwo tacuma 04 50k mls,12 mth tax and test,still 2.5k on it,they offered £198,jimmybosun, {Ed001's Note - sure they weren't charging you £198 to take it away?}
27 Feb 2012 20:13:04
Just pissed at the Blue bitters who were in the ale house yesterday spouting their vile abuse regarding the reds cup win which resulted in a nasty fracas which ruined the day,families singing & trying to enjoy the occasion were slagged & geered at by these neanderthals, hang your heads in shame.
Spud 68
24 Feb 2012 21:42:17
can anyone reccomend anything for chaffing im in terrible pain in the summer as im working away my @rse cheeks rub together and im in agony.too embarrased to go to docs for a sore ringpeice.any help will do thanks {Ed003's Note - Sudocrem }
Also a bit of vaseline mate, runners use it on thier nipples and around thier its to stop it rubbing
Lose some weight?
Go to a bicycle shop and get some bikers lube!
Wd 40 usually works for me, the ole ring piece feels like it'son fire though ...unlucky alf
17 Feb 2012 13:47:53
Why is it that when you go to the changing rooms in the gym the bloody thing is empty except for around your locker? whole room empty but by my locker a gaggle of pensioners in the changing room debating group intent on talking all bloody day and tutting when you try go go past, ffs
And they always seem to be nearly naked or naked with their nasty bits hanging out, i'm sorry but that should be censored. dirty old men lol
17 Feb 2012 00:07:54
can you tell me why there is not a sex talk page ? {Ed003's Note - If we did that 007 would never be able to concentrate on his pages and would just be on that all day}
13 Feb 2012 17:15:25
Just watching the old 70's/80's sitcom George & Mildred.
When I was a kid I thought Mildred was a right boiler.
But, looking at her now, she's well sexy !
Lol.
The Real KB {Ed001's Note - ok, now that is worrying!!!}
Was you watching with your beer goggles on ?.....unlucky alf {Ed001's Note - maybe he forgot to put his goggles on at all and could only see a blur!}
Mate, you know she's dead?? Are you into that sort of thing? {Ed001's Note - KB is pretty much dead himself, he is in his 90s you know!}
Dead from the neck up, maybe.
But downstairs is still good for dancing.
The Real KB
08 Feb 2012 18:51:40
That stupid advert for match.com is really getting on my nerves.
You know the one, with the pyscho on the platform "girl on the platfprm smiled"
I'd love to pitch him straight into the path of a virgin express.
05 Feb 2012 15:58:19
I'm on holiday in the Dominican Republic and the local people are lovely. However, in the hotel there are a lot of French guests. I hate to say it, but the are the most arrogant, selfish, ignorant and repulsive people I have ever come across. I live near the Channel Tunnel and I love France, but just not the French!
French Canadians are just as bad
Think it depends where you go, the more metropolitan French are awful but the rural ones tend to be better.
Its pretty much the same over here i find. I could quite cheerfully set the average Londoner on fire soon as look at the jumped up tossers.
26 Jan 2012 20:27:07
Just gonna moan about builders, the most unreliable tossers on the planet, there is a recession on & you think they would jump at the chance for work, you contact them, arrange for them to call, take time off work to meet them & then the f**kers dont turn up & then dont contact you either, then you have your missus on your case cos the work aint getting finished on time, all because the bacon butty,tea swigging, teeth sucking t**t didn't turn up...CM68
26 Jan 2012 20:17:27
Ok for some reason this has been playing on my mind (think i have to much time on my hands) If your dogs craps on the floor what do you do? you get some disinfectant and some cloths and clean it right! if your baby poos in his/her nappy you get baby wipes and make sure their bum is clean and the baby is happy, we have a poo we use dodgy paper that is so useless while your wiping your @ss your finger goes right through the paper and your finger is full of crap or you just wipe your @ss clean with paper no disinfectant or any cleaning product its not very hygenic is it...Think i need therapy *sigh*
MJ {Ed003's Note - I think the therapy route might be a good idea or just try a good treble quilted paper}
Bio-degradeable wet wipes are the answer,my ass is nice & clean also my farts smell of lavender....... {Ed001's Note - all wet wipes are bio-degradeable, even the non-flush type are made of cotton.}
Trouble with treble quilted paper is it's too thick. When you wipe your ass you end up getting a big streak half way up your back! Try explaining that one away when your sitting in the office with your nice crisp white shirt with a dirty great skid mark up the back of it!
Or worse like me playing snooker with biege trousers and bending over to take a shot and the wife asks if ive shat myself,lol
26 Jan 2012 20:19:52
Adrian Durham, what a complete t*sser..........CM68
I love listening to talk sport but have to switch it off after quarter of an hour of his rubbish! I understand these people need to play devils advocate, but this guy just talks over callers if they question him. He contradicts himself all the time and quite frankly doesn't seem to know an awful lot about football! I can't stand his patronising, arrogant voice any longer.
Wizard of Osman
22 Jan 2012 00:52:22
id like to have a real good moan about these new breed of football fans were one week there cheering the team on when there doing well but 1 week later after a loss there demanding for the manager to be sacked to all and sundry its funnier because not 1 of them puts there name up there so if the team do win something they will be shot down at least have the courage in your convictions sign your name so if it does go well then you can be reminded of your early opinions i dont see what the problem is no body knows who you are if you have a thought then say it but sign it and dont just be a fair weather fan supporting a football club is a choice that you choose for life through the good times and the bad times
giblet
Well said sir, It does get rather annoying trying to debate with a no name poster.... HERBIE
Very true herbie you usually cant debate with them because their just there to rant and spout bile about a poor result and you never know if your getting the reply from the same person i dont see the problem no body knows who they are and if their proved to be wrong and cant take the i told you so,s change your sign off name who would be the wiser
giblet
20 Jan 2012 18:11:35
I have an item i wish to sell on ebay yet every time i try it gets removed due to some kind of property rights violation, I have emailed ebay and the company that originally made the product and no f***er gets back to me. I need to know what the friggin problem is so i can rectify it...Idiots
MJ
17 Jan 2012 18:15:37
We really need rid of the human rights act, that terrorist trash qatada can't be deported cos their worried he may get tortured and it breaches humna rights.
So what, Jordan aint in the Eu so human rights act doesn't apply to them. Strip him of any british citizenship and plane him back there.
I'd strap hhis balls in the mains and throw the switch soon as look at the scumball.
Agreed, It's bang out of order that these vile preachers spout this aggression and hate yet there happy enough when it comes to handouts. In my eyes anyone is welcome to this country as long as they leave there hatred in the country they came from.... HERBIE
He's really a very nice man just misunderstood
13 Jan 2012 15:43:20
No Menopausal Man page would surely be complete without a tribute to the late great steeplejack Fred Dibnah. Here he is manually putting up a scaffold 3/4 of the way up a huge chimney, in the days before health & safety took over the world :
There's some great stuff about FD on youtube, including the BAFTA award-winning 1979 documentary, in 6 x parts.
Every minute should be slowly enjoyed like a good pint and a Lancashire Hotpot.
The Real KB
Fred Dibnah How to erect a chimney scaffold
13 Jan 2012 14:27:05
im f******n raging. long story but... last feb my aunt moved from her home 2 a residential home. so i sold off her stuff and put house on the market. it sold in june so i had her post rediverted 2 me. since june i replied to all her post and told them she was in a care home with alzheimers so dont send anything else. so the stupid bast***s keep sending her letters! she died in december and im still getting post 4 her. got 1 this morn 2 her from virgin saying they have a tivo box with her name on it despite writing 2 them and also phoning them to say shes dead. my aunt also gave 2 many charities and they STILL F*****g asking 4 money. i will NEVER give money 2 them also i cancelled my virgin subscription. ed, can i name and shame them?? anyone else have this problem? {Ed001's Note - I see no reason why you shouldn't name and shame them, it is about time they were embarrassed into showing some sensitivity.}
They are all blood sucking parasites mate from Banks to Bloody Kirby hoovers they knock on peoples door give em a raffle ticket then a few days later tell you you have won a free carpet shampoo...You accept the shampoo and they give a demo and try and sell you the bloody hoover for over a grand, Every company wants money of the public like we need oxygen
MJ
The worst people defo the DWP (the DHSS to the older folk), my mum passed away & 6 weeks after we had buried her we received a letter saying that they had overpaid her 1 weeks pension even though we had closed her post office account, f****** vampires.
CM68
Soz i took so long but here goes 4 the money grabbing bas***d charities re above post. foot and mouth artists[no shi***n], donkey sanctuary, nspcc,rspca, marie curie, also alzheimers society, i kid u not. virgin are def the worst, since end of november, i have had 4 your name on a tivo box letters. they are/were not general ones, ie 'to the occupier' but to her specifically. also donkey sanctuary are bad. i have phoned all the grrrs up told them my aunt is dead, told them 2 take her name off their list to no avail. i even had local newspaper round and they done an article and also phoned up [with my permission] those named. they all said ,it was an oversight and wouldnt happen again. HA what bs. ps im still RAGING. thanx ed! {Ed007's Note - Rant away mate, I had it last February when my dad died from cancer, he had been ill for ages but he had always looked after the bills etc. My mammy ended up in a bit of a fankle. I had words with everyone from Virgin to the bloody insurance company. They are parasites, but if you let them away with it they will just keep doing it.}
Oh yes, im so angry i forgot to say there was 4 letters together in a clear bag put thro my door by the postman with a message on it from the po saying these are undelivered letters from the xmas period!! delivered today. aaaarrrrgh. my sympathies to u both on your loss, obviously i know what its like with knobs on.
09 Jan 2012 18:19:22
Bloody banks i slipped over my overdraft by £29 over the christmas period and the bank sent me a lovely letter saying they were gonna charge me £10 per day, if a person struggles to pay their bills especially in the recession where a decent job is near enough impossible to come by and the banks keep doing things like this how the hell will people afford to live TSB the bank that like to rob you
MJ
Thats cheap mate £10 per day, the Yorkshire bank charge you £25 a day for going over your o/d
CM68
Damn....... You 2 need to change banks, I done the same MJ, £8 over the overdraft and I got charged £5 a day (Halifax)
HERBIE
It's Pathetic we are like mice in a maze looking for food the government's have put the global economy in a very negative state and everyone seems to think it is acceptable to rip us off...I'd say lets stand up and fight for our right to not be treated like cattle but if we did we would win f**k all i remember when we were fighting with the mp's for pay rises and all we got was a lousy 3% and they got 33%
MJ
Also CM68 what happens if you lose your job and cant pay your bills with £25 a day your gonna lose everythin
MJ
MJ you've got my vote :-) lets revolt and rage against the machine... MJ, change your name to "Che". Viva la revolution.... HERBIE
This is why i'm with a building society and only have a debit card.
Thats said MJ back in my student days i had similar issues with Lloyds.
Mort
Try this little gem my mate did,he wrote a letter addressed to his bank saying on no account must they make him overdrawn and not to honour any payments that will put him in such as position as he does not want to occur charges,
he then sent a empty envelope to the bank recorded delivery,so he has proof of sending,went and bought a few items,when bank wrote to him saying he was overdrawn,he stormed to the bank showing them the letter he had photocopied and the recorded delivery note,saying why have you honoured these transactions heres the letter i wrote,and the bank wrote off about 2k,sure it wont work now but did 20 yrs ago,
08 Jan 2012 22:53:07
rearrange mother in law and you get woman hitler how strange.
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